Of Wet Paint & Wedgies

Last night my sister came over for a night of just hanging out and for whatever reason I said "Hey let's paint our nails!" And so we did. Woot! Fun times! And as most women know nail polish stays tacky for a while and even though they may seem dry can easily be mussed up with the slightest of contact. There is nothing quite like that period of time after having your nails painted where you attempt every task with fingers splayed stiff in front of you, the tension running up your arms as you try to daintily pick through your purse using the mere tips of your fingers- all in attempts to keep the paint un-mussed.

It was at this point I was just chillin' when of course mother nature had to call. Not a little whisper but a fairly urgent CALL and I new the next good cough or laugh would not be pretty. Not a happy place to be. So I turn to my dear, sweet husband and make my plea, "Honey, could you please help me go to the bathroom? Uh....my nails are.....wet." A look crossed his face of bafflement and humor and definite confusion at the fact that I was serious, but serious I was! This is a matter of messed up nails, come on now! A bit more pleading on my half, and heckling on his and finally he agreed.

All was going well, till the end. Perhaps I should have sensed it. Why didn't I see the red flags flying when these words escaped his lips, "You can't do ANYTHING with your nails like that right?" Was there a smirk in that sentence? Did he have a plan all along or did the lightening hit as he watched me struggle with the toilet paper? I may never know, but I do know this, the next moment I was NOT expecting. My sweet, loving husband was dutifully helping me with my pants when suddenly ZZZWWHOOOP! I was standing there in shock and a WEDGIE! This is not just any ordinary wedgie. Things are twisted and rolled and I can not move! It was like a SUPER WEDGIE! All I could do was sputter, "But...what....how...why....a wedgie, really???" And all he could do was laugh. My please for help fell on deaf ears.

"You can't leave me like this!"
"Oh but I can!"
"No....so not nice!"
Laughter and smirking.
"Just you wait mister! I will NOT forget this and I know where you SLEEP!"
More laughter.

Now what? Do I risk my beautifully painted nails? Could I fake it and make it work? I try to take a few tentative steps. Oh no, no, no. This is an uber wedgie and EVERYTHING is all twisted, even my pants. (How he did he DO that?) Could I bat my eyelashes and ask for help? No he is still laughing, definitely proud of himself. There is no other option, I have to risk the nails. As carefully as I possibly can I fix my pants all the while scowling at dear hubby who is watching and smirking. A few tense moments later pants, I and nails leave the bathroom intact and in good shape! Phew! Success!

And dear, sweet hubby- well just you wait Wedgie-Boy because as soon as my nails aren't tacky you are in SO much trouble! You don't even know!